I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
