I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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