He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Randomize
