i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
