Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
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I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
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