The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
