I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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