with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
