he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
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