I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Randomize
