I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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