thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Randomize
