Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
