It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
