ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
