Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
His nipple licking is glorious
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