i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
After last night, I could never be a politician.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
