We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
