People with herpes should wear stickers.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
not ubering you a puppy
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