OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
