Your face is a jimmy john
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
