everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
