I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
It's never too late to be topless.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
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