respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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