some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
