so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
