Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Randomize
