Heybabeimwearingurpanties
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
