you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize