even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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