I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
