Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize