Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
