arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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