glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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