YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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