Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
