i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
