Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Drake has all the answers
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize