return my video game
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
