so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize