So drunk, too bad you don't want this
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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