I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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