You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
