I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
