Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
