yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
