AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Randomize
