i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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