theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
