My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
