Everything about him screamed your future.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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