Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I am one with the molecules
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
