I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
