I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
