Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
