I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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