Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize