she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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