you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
